6 Die-Hard Realities of Life We’ve Got to Accept Early On

Grab the bull by the horns. Truth is brutal, reality uncompromising, and facts hard: our very language reveals a lot about the truth, that it doesn’t come up roses. Indeed we usually only face facts when there’s no other option. It’s only when we can no longer bear our suffering that we come to terms with our demons.

Although this isn’t pleasant, the hardest lessons in life are also those that launch us on new trajectories. There are things that are as sure as the tides, the sun and the moon, the change of the seasons. The earlier we come to grips with naked reality, the earlier we can take a meaningful step up the ladder of self-knowledge. In this article we’ll introduce six of these hard truths.

1. Forget about perfection

Renowned artist Salvador Dalí once said: “Don’t fear perfection; you’ll never attain it. In light of this truth, we can actually lean back and let things run their course. If we simply try to do our best every day, that’s more than enough. There will always be people who seem more successful and more attractive than us, who have more money, power, and influence.

Comparing ourselves with others is the fastest way to discontent. So forget about perfection and forget “them.” Try to bring out the best for yourself and your loved ones. Anything else is just chasing an illusion. Learn above all not to take yourself so seriously. Perhaps you’ll never be the person who can wear white in summer or be taken seriously in a Hawaiian shirt.

Your dining room centerpiece might always just be a pile of birthday leftovers, even when there’s not a child in sight. It’s also no joke to wish for a self-stocking refrigerator, given our technological advances, but rather a visionary idea. Life doesn’t award trophies or medal, so throw that confetti and be good to yourself.

2. Let the past stay in the past

One of the worst things we can do to ourselves is to constantly glorify the past. Some people miss out on the present completely by doing so. Our memories take on a golden hue that’s actually catastrophic for our well-being. The good old days are in fact just old, seldom good.

Unfortunately, it can be difficult for us to remain neutral about our lives given historical analysis. That said, there’s almost no other area of life that can be laid to rest as thoroughly as this one. The past is a) past, can b) no longer be altered, and will c) never return.

Of course, we’re allowed the occasional bout of nostalgia, if it’s helpful. Yet if nostalgia comes with strings attached that chase us into the maw of despair or depression, then don’t even let yourself take a second glance over your shoulder.

3. Every day could be our last

Yes, this is another unavoidable truth that’s difficult to hear. The idea of carpe diem from Antiquity is worth taking out and brushing off now and then. Although life is no Mardi Gras, we’d do well to celebrate it on a daily basis. More time for family and friends, more space for your hobbies and passions – this is how we should fill our days whenever possible. That said, there’s no reason to fear death.

When people regret something at the end of their days, it’s that they didn’t live fully enough. This deathbed regret should be avoided at all costs. Naturally, our days have a certain routine. But in the hustle and bustle, we too often forget that we are here to live, not simply function. Brief breaks for fun now and then is a good way to start, and the best thing is, it costs nothing.

4. We can only save and heal ourselves

This is particularly difficult to come to terms with for the romantics among us. There’s no white knight or handsome prince coming to free us from despair. There’s no fair godmother fulfilling wishes and it’s not fair to burden our partners with the task of making us happy.

This is a job for us and us alone. In the desperate search for rescue from disaster and for healing all our issues, the buck stops at exactly one spot, and it’s here with us.

5. Work is not life

This reality is not difficult to comprehend, but it is difficult to put into action. We all have bills to pay and responsibilities we have to live up to. Yet usually it’s not we who have the job, but rather the job that has us, and that in a stranglehold.

All too often it takes an extreme experience, such as the death of a relative or health problems like a chronic illness or burnout syndrome, to make us recognize that work isn’t everything. Instead of waiting for someone or something to plunge us into the depths of despair, take note early on of the true demon behind the paycheck.

Yes, we need work, and yes, we need money in order to live. That said, if there’s no time left for other things or we’re too exhausted to enjoy them, then our work-life balance is spinning out of control.

6. There will always be failure

Going back to the idea that nothing is perfect, the converse is also true: We will always have moments of failure, moments when we can’t land on our feet. The trick of it is not to let such setbacks hold you back in the long term. We might do well to put the brakes on and gaffs might just show us in their charming way that the path we’re on isn’t the right one for us.

A cosmic, "Don’t think so!", might initially come across as a violent defeat, complete with a black eye. Yet as a guideline we can assume that the clearer and more painful the failure was, the better it was for us and our future life. The very things that our human heart desires so much are not always the best choice for us.

Think of defeats and setbacks as heavenly intervention. This not only takes the terror out of failure in the future, but also reliably shows you that higher powers are keeping you protected.

Our conclusion

"The truth is reasonable for us humans." According to this quote by Ingeborg Bachmann, what concerns us must indeed be allowed to concern us. The fact that reality sometimes feels more like an imposition is no fault of reality. As children we can still hold our hands in front of our eyes and pretend that we are invisible.

Unfortunately, as adults, this ostrich tactic only works to a limited extent. To be more precise, it works until our personal pain threshold is reached. If you’re smart, you’ll avoid this escalation and look the truth in its cold eye. Life is short, far too short to chase an illusion that has nothing to do with reality.