Forgive Yourself THESE Things – Anything Else Is a Waste of Time!
Some things you have to let rest. Life is mainly about learning. We stumble through our years in the hope that at some point we will have a complete grasp of things and finally know how things work. It would be immensely practical if we could start all over again with the wealth of knowledge from the end of our lives. But that would probably be far too easy.
Mistakes happen, we learn from some of them, unfortunately not from others. All this is no reason to be too hard on ourselves. Anyone who makes a reasonable effort not to knowingly harm anyone can count himself among the good guys. Nevertheless, we humans always manage to condemn ourselves for the smallest things and give the floor to inner critics.
In this article, we'd like to introduce you to 14 things you absolutely don't have to feel guilty about. Forgive yourself for these – anything else would be a waste of time.
1. Anything that's actually "unhealthy."
We know, of course, that French fries and a morning croissant are not the most recommended foods. So what? Now and then, an indulgence without any regrets is a heavenly moment that should definitely be celebrated.
2. Conflict with your parents.
Whether as a teenager or later as a young adult, nature has virtually put it in our DNA that we are always fighting battles with our parents' generation. The turbulent climax of this questioning of the hierarchy within a family is certainly puberty.
Hardly any teenager manages to leave it behind without severely disappointing and hurting his parents at least once with words or deeds. But even later in life, friction between generations is normal. The only important thing is never to part without reconciliation after an argument or disagreement; after all, each goodbye could be the last.
3. Your college major.
You really wanted to study archaeology, oriental studies or art history and you dutifully went through with it? Congratulations, a degree or any form of tertiary education is no walk in the park. You might not have known that you’d be a bit up in the air, professionally, or that you have to look for alternatives to earn money. It's no big deal!
A degree is a degree. You probably had a lot of fun pursuing your interests so extensively. Don't think back on this time with regret or condemn yourself for this decision in retrospect. It's okay to allow yourself the luxury of "education."
4. Things left unsaid.
Have there been moments in your life when you remained silent even though something was on the tip of your tongue? That moment of missed opportunity still haunts you? Let it rest! It is what it is and it was probably better that way.
In conversation with other people, we are sometimes literally beside ourselves. Occasionally, it’s as though we’re possessed by someone else who speaks. Other days, our intuition prevents us from speaking thoughts out loud.
5. The inevitable you've closed your eyes to.
Some disasters you can see coming: Relationships, wrong friendships, wrong professional decisions or not thinking something through and misfortune takes its course. Bygones be bygones! No matter what it was, you can't undo it now.
6. You changed your mind – so?
It speaks very well of you if you stand by your principles and values. Nevertheless, we are equally free to change our minds after examining new or old facts. That doesn't make you a turncoat. On the contrary, it speaks in your favor, if you can indirectly admit that you were wrong. Not all people on this planet possess this greatness.
7. The few times when you just couldn't take it anymore.
There are moments in life that catapult us to the brink of collapse and beyond. It's perfectly okay to lose control at times and surrender to tears, for example. Emotional outbursts are healing and sometimes simply unavoidable.
8. Everything you've been avoiding.
If there were moments in your life when you just didn’t feel up to being the heroine or hero of the day, forgive yourself for that. There are so many people in the world, you can't and you don't always have to be the solution to every problem. Sometimes you get to hide in the second row and wait for the storm to pass.
9. That you still don't know everything about life.
Even if we lived to be 100 and older, we might have a hint of an idea about life, but we still wouldn't really have the full picture. So it's perfectly all right to be faced again and again with an unsolvable riddle and not be able to get anywhere on our own.
10. Any means is fine to deal with pain.
In moments of suffering, have you ever let yourself go into a full-blown tantrum against the whole world? Have you ranted and screamed and hurt other people? Let it go. In pain and grief, almost anything is okay that helps you cope.
11. How you treated yourself.
We fight the worst and most difficult battles of our lives against ourselves. This is perfectly normal and just shouldn't turn into excessive self-flagellation.
12. Not achieving a (false) ideal.
The dream figure, the dream job, a career in the entertainment industry or being able to bake cakes like grandma: Nobody will achieve everything in life. Some goals are denied us so that we have a good reason to keep going.
13. Choosing not to take risks.
There are the gamblers among us and there are the risk-averse types who prefer to play it safe. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you if you count yourself among the latter. In the end, foregoing the odd adrenaline rush has never done anyone any harm, but conversely has saved the lives or livelihoods of many people.
14. You didn't love someone enough.
You can love too much, you can also love too little. The former is bad for us, the latter is bad for others. If you once choose the latter, or simply couldn't help it, that's perfectly fine. We cannot force ourselves to give someone all our love from the bottom of our hearts. Feelings are not a commodity or an object of exchange, they simply are or they are not.
Todays Conclusion
Forgive yourself. No human being is perfect, no one always makes the right decisions. We all make one or two mistakes in our lives or bet on the wrong horse. The key difference in committing mistakes is intent. Are we willfully harming someone or ourselves, or did these things just slip by us, fail us, or weren't afforded to us?
If you feel a sincere apology to certain people would do your peace of mind good, take action. If not, think of a nice little ritual to assign these past mistakes into oblivion. It's the best thing you can do right here, right now.