This Is What Happens When You Are Too Nice!!

Would you describe yourself as overly helpful, nice and good-natured, or does this description apply to people in your personal environment? Then the following article might interest you. Today you’ll find nine reasons why you should avoid being too nice. 

1. High expectations

Once you've earned the reputation of being an overly nice person, it might be hard to shake it off. Even though you undoubtedly possess qualities that make you stand out as a nice person, the drawbacks are obvious. For example, you have to cope with the fact that everyone’s expectations of you are very high. This means that your social environment will always come to you for help with any problems.

Thanks to your extremely large social group, other people will eventually take your services and favors for granted and expect them from you. By setting this high bar, you put yourself in trouble, because as soon as a social milieu takes someone for granted, you run the risk of being taken advantage of.

2. Unrealistic expectations

Even if you have a particularly big heart and other people thank you for it, this doesn’t mean that they act and feel the same way as you do. As a result, you may experience bitter disappointment, because your above-average expectations of yourself and others often turn out to be utopian. Life is a give and take. As soon as this balance gets out of whack, an unhealthy spiral is initiated.

You should therefore not measure your fellow human beings by your own standards, but assess them realistically. Of course, you should always be there for your friends and acquaintances, but not all of your friends will be able to do this as well as you can. What you can demand, however, is loyalty and sincerity, because they are elementary pillars of a friendship.

3. You are being taken advantage of

If you have an open ear for your fellow man around the clock, that speaks well of you. However, if certain acquaintances only come around when they need help, you can be sure that your general willingness to help is being taken advantage of.

In this case, you are a welcome helper who puts himself completely unselfishly in the service of his fellow man, and if you’re unlucky, you don’t even get a thank you for it. For friends like these, whom you can justifiably call parasites, a dry no would be the most sensible response to their exploitative behavior.

4. You forget yourself

With very unselfish people, their own ego is never in the foreground. In principle, this trait is commendable. However, for all your good nature in relation to your social environment, a certain amount of self-care is essential to your personal well-being.

Typically, especially altruistically inclined people are primarily focused on the well-being of others. Your own needs may be neglected, and this can drain your energy in the long run. If you can manage to take care of yourself to a sufficient degree while not losing sight of the well-being of others, it would definitely make you happier.

5. Weakness

If you have a selfless and kind nature, it may be perceived as weakness in the eyes of outsiders. This is extremely unfortunate. Essentially you want to please everyone and wouldn’t hurt a fly. These characteristics inevitably make you appear as an unassertive person.

Now and then drawing a clear line or making a strong appearance is advantageous, sometimes even indispensable. If you want to be perceived as a natural authority, it might be helpful to assert yourself in certain situations, for example at work or in your private life.

6. You Attract the Needy

If you are a naturally good-natured person who doesn’t fight back, you are the ideal victim for manipulative people. These people are so successful with you because you have trouble setting clear boundaries. Manipulative people instinctively sense who’s suitable for achieving their goals.

This intuition will be your undoing as a particularly good-natured person. If you don't protect yourself offensively, you'll be trapped and won't be able to get out of it easily. For this reason, associating with manipulative people should always be considered unfavorable and, if possible, avoided.

7. Distrust

What sounds paradoxical is actually quite logical. If you are conspicuously friendly and courteous, it raises distrust in some people. They simply don't trust your generosity, and there are good reasons for that. For one thing, it’s alienating to many people who’re downright ensnared in the rat race. At this point, they often subconsciously suspect an ulterior motive, even if in reality there is none to be found.

On the other hand, other people recognize your insecurities and, due to your lack of natural authority, they tend to distrust you more than the so-called strong personalities who have a greater power of persuasion from the ground up.

8. You yourself become needy.

That's right. This aspect isn’t easy to explain, as it largely takes place in your subconscious mind. If you permanently neglect your own needs, complexes develop that make you clingy and needy for attention. These problems can be avoided if you learn to value yourself and find out your personal worth. This is often a longer process, but in the end it's worth it to find yourself and keep an eye on your own happiness.

9. Addiction and dependence

If you are constantly putting yourself out there for those around you without doing yourself any good, you run the risk of losing yourself. The resulting stress and fear of not being able to access your own self make you more susceptible to addictions of all kinds. This is a so-called compensation behavior.

Again, the suppression of deep needs plays a role. Your body will demand harmful substances such as alcohol or other forms of numbing to compensate for the perceived pain of tormenting inner emptiness. Addiction is not the solution to your problems, but only leads to a short-term relief of your pain.

The path to addiction and dependence happens faster than you might think. Don’t let it get that far – give yourself enough time and space for your needs.

Today’s Conclusion

Being too nice might not sound like a terrible thing. Since people differ in many respects, there is a wide range in terms of characteristics, but those who give too much and get too little often end up empty-handed. You will not succeed in pleasing everyone, and that should never be your ambition. Only those who accept you with all your strengths and weaknesses deserve your friendship. That's it for today.