5 Signs That YOU Are Nicer Than YOU Think!
Some people have innate charm and get further with a nice smile than others get with arguments. Either you got it, or you don’t. That said, modern behavioral research and psychology have come up with a number of ways to get to the bottom of interpersonal chemistry. So far, at least, we know that it's not just appearance, demeanor, and manners that determine whether or not we like each other right away.
We must also be able to smell our counterpart well, in the truest sense of the word, and their voice must produce a very specific kind of vibration in our auditory canal, but sometimes that’s all it takes to ignite us. After the first encounters comes either the phase of disillusionment or stabilization. This is where it is decided whether a fleeting acquaintance can become a friendship or perhaps even love.
Everyone has the qualities necessary for this within themselves, but it is now a matter of nurturing and cultivating them, so that those around us also discover them. In this article we show you five signs that you are probably a lot more likeable than you previously thought.
1. You are human through and through
In this context, that doesn't mean that you sacrifice yourself to take care of others, even though selflessness can also earn you a lot of points on the niceness scale. Human here means that you're not perfect, that mistakes and mishaps happen all the time, and that you don't try to hide your misfortunes. Nothing makes us more spontaneously likeable than being able to laugh at ourselves and not taking life and adversity too seriously.
If you want to break the ice in a conversation, tell a harmless but entertaining anecdote from your life. You'll see that the mood will lighten and everyone present will spontaneously feel more comfortable than before. With such honest confessions, you take the tension out of a situation that no one can really assess. People tend to think in terms of competition and to compare themselves. If someone can then openly and honestly admit that they are not Miss or Mister Perfect, it eases the situation enormously.
2. Similarities create sympathy
Children and pets are the number one topics of conversation when it comes to quickly finding common ground. It's almost amazing how quickly people can open up when the right topic is on the table. If you can join in the conversation, great, follow up, ask questions and bring your experiences to the table. If you can't join the conversation, even better. Just admit your gaps in knowledge outright and ask well-thought-out questions about it.
Once the conversation is underway, you can witness in real time how quickly people join your side. Even if you were complete strangers until recently. Go ahead and show photos in the round to successfully break the ice, and nothing more stands in the way of a relaxed conversation. But common ground naturally also has a long-term effect. No matter whether professional or private spheres, one remembers better people with whom one has so much in common. Sooner or later, this can boost your career or provide nice new contacts in your private life.
3. You always exude positive energy
Some people carry the sunshine gene. No matter where they show up, the room immediately brightens, the temperature rises slightly, and everything suddenly feels like it's bathed in a particularly soft, flattering light. Sometimes the effect is not quite so fabulous, but such people exist. They are always in a good mood and cheerful, infect others with their good humor, and have a kind word or teasing statement to spare for everyone.
They are contagious in the most positive of senses. If you notice that those around you are always most pleased when you show up, you should definitely cultivate this gift. There are not many people who can go through life with honest joy and share it. You have already sweetened the day of every person to whom you brought a smile. The beauty of it is that the magic of a smile comes back to you in real time.
4. Your first impression leaves a mark
Likeability starts with the first impression. That's why, unfortunately, it's also necessary to pay attention to appearances if you want to increase your own personal likability score. A well-groomed appearance means first and foremost having respect for your fellow human beings. There is no need for expensive designer outfits to make a successful first impression.
Clean, neat clothes in impeccable condition and a well-groomed appearance from head to toe may cost a little time in the morning, but they cost pleasantly little money. Continue to make sure your posture is upright. Beyond the pandemic, a firm but measured handshake would be appropriate. If you can then make direct eye contact or have a smile on your lips, you've already pretty much won.
5. You listen and let others have their say
Active listening can be learned. Most people yearn to get their concerns and perspectives across. When you let others speak and just listen attentively yourself, you come across as spontaneously likeable. But the role of the listener has other advantages for you: You can confidently hand over the reins of conversation and don't have to think handily about topics that are or are not appropriate at that moment and in that ambience.
Especially if you don't know your counterpart very well yet, you can avoid possible faux pas in this way and score points in likeability. In addition, you can learn a lot about your fellow human beings in this way. At work, such an information advantage is often worth its weight in gold. Privately one can score still more by noticing such details from the lives of those around you. Here we join the likeability factor with real empathy, which forms an unbeatable duo.
Today’s Conclusion:
Likeability can open doors. Going through them is the easy part of the exercise, proving oneself in these newly opened rooms is another thing. Those who use likeability only as a tool to achieve their purposes will not be successful with this charade for long. Genuine likeability, after all, never comes alone; it is accompanied by authenticity, which one cannot fake with the best will in the world.
There is nothing to be said against presenting oneself in the best possible light. However, if the sole purpose of this is to dazzle others, failure is inevitable. One can work on a winning appearance, no question. However, if the inside does not match the outside, other people will notice this quite quickly and keep their distance. A quote of unknown origin perhaps best sums up the effect of sympathy: "Sympathy is a secret contract that hearts make without the knowledge of the head. That's it for today.