Let It Go! YOU’ll NEVER Change These People!

Does the title ring a bell? Who doesn't like to help their good acquaintances and close friends in need? After all, periods of listlessness, anxiety, ill-temper, and doubt affect almost everyone in their lives. This is completely natural. Support and encouragement from trusted people help us to think clearly again and to get out of the low.

In some cases, however, well-intentioned efforts have no effect. Your offers of help are not appreciated at all. A continuous loop of endless attempts at helping them will only leave you drained. But what are the trademark signs of people whom you simply can’t help? We present them here in this article.

1. The self-righteous know-it-all

Stubbornness and assertiveness don't have to be a bad trait – it always depends on how strongly and in what way a person disregards the opinions and needs of others. Narcissistic traits and thoughts that only revolve around one's own interests can put a heavy strain on friendships and relationships. After all, friendship means sharing the thoughts, preferences and interests of someone else.

Those who can’t empathize, but at the same time constantly demand solidarity and attention from their fellow human beings, end up sooner or later very lonely. They are real masters at blaming circumstances and other people. Self-righteous people don’t waste any time with reflection on how they come off in the eyes of others, because in their eyes they’re perfect.

The concerns of others have to take a back seat. Whenever you try to resolve a personal issue with them, the situation quickly escalates. Most of the time, the displayed perfection is based on a deep insecurity and the resulting desire for more control. You cannot destroy this wall on your own; the person in question must first show insight.

2. The absolute emergency

Despair in an emergency situation opens the door for entry for some. Of course, it’s a perfectly natural reflex to reach out to a person in a desperate situation. But what if this happens with high regularity? This person plays on your compassion and uses it casually or even pointedly in his or her favor. Some even show themselves to be truly opportunistic and merciless. They are willing to deceive you at any cost.

A sense of guilt quickly arises from your fatigue at always having to help, which costs you time and energy, and there seems to be no end in sight. Especially alarming is the creation of an emotional one-way street, when the person in need of help constantly demands your attention, but gives absolutely nothing back to you. In such a case, you should seriously consider refraining from offering help.

3. The skeptic

Skepticism can serve a healthy and important purpose, but sometimes doubts, negative expectation and dismissive attitude determine the quality of life for people and those around them. Strong pessimists with a tendency toward self-sacrifice are stuck in a quagmire of emotional pettiness. Their tendency toward negative assumptions tends to be surprising and difficult for normal people to comprehend.

They tend to brood, see the bad in all your suggestions, and turn any positive kind of attention into the opposite. They talk down every project, and in their opinion the glass always seems half empty. The dangerous thing about this kind of mood is that it’s contagious. If you don't build up a protective wall against this behavior, you may adopt its idiosyncrasies and turn into a pessimist yourself.

For this reason alone, you should always maintain open and at least rudimentary positive contact with your fellow human beings and also demand a little from them. Offense is the best defense.

4. The manipulator

The type mentioned here manipulates helpful people like you. However, they don't necessarily do it with full intention, mostly they are seriously ill and cling to their world without really wanting to burden you. They simply lack an objective view of themselves and insight into how things could work differently. Unconditional self-sacrifice for fellow human beings, however, can have extremely drastic consequences.

After all, some people are only too happy to accept your help. In fact, they are counting on you to intervene, and this has consequences for their long-term behavior. They want you to help them and therefore see no need to get themselves out of their predicament. To achieve their goal, they devise strategies, they observe your reactions, and they learn how they can take you on for their cause.

Genuine charmers who come across as nice and convincing often have an easy time of it, and even the occasional lie serves their purpose. But behind the facade hides a completely different person. Dishonest behavior, trickery and declarations of innocence with a good portion of acting are characteristics of this type. Always remember: Genuine trust is based on positive experience and also requires patience. Never give it away too readily to people with questionable motives.

5. The victim role

Everything is already bad, and it can only get worse: Lost love, deaths in the family or financial disasters quickly throw even supposedly stable personalities off track. Sooner or later, those affected recover and get back up again under their own steam. It’s problematic, however, when such events recur all the time or when the person concerned dismisses them as the inevitable force of a higher power.

The so-called victim role makes people doubt their own ability to change; problematic situations are often described as unsolvable and inevitable. Typically, this very attitude is what bears responsibility for the life that has gone off the rails. Other people, the authorities, or some regulations are to blame for their misery; if necessary, fate itself will be put on trial by the victim.

Mostly they’re not embarrassed to reveal their victimhood to you. In their eyes, they are not to blame for their plight, and you cannot convince them otherwise. Your attempts to make them change their minds are doomed to failure.

6. The failure

People who constantly question their own actions and abilities are already in a difficult position. But not every skeptic remains inactive when he receives help. Far more hopeless are people who immediately give up at the slightest hint of resistance. Nothing in life goes according to plan or without friction or difficulty. With this type, however, even a relatively minor mishap is enough, and they completely cease any action for their own good.

Generosity, massive helpfulness, mental build-up, all these ways come to nothing. Causes for this reaction are buried deep in the psyche. Complete lack of self-confidence and negative life experience make such people really believe in only one thing: their own inadequacy and the associated failure. Whatever these people tackle seems to involve immense effort and therefore, in the last instance, nothing is worth the trouble.

Often, traces of this behavior run through one's entire life: Relationships, friendships, family, career and personal goals suffer from the so-called loser mentality. If such people show no insight and recognizable willingness to do more, any help from your side is completely useless.

7. The ingrate

Lack of sincerity and grouchiness are enough to cause a major rift out of the smallest of occasions. Insincere people with a lack of respect for you and others are especially emotionally taxing. You’ll find you can’t even address obvious problems, the smallest hint will be met with a hot-tempered response. The strategy behind this is to not even allow discussion and change.

Usually the annoyance goes far beyond the addressed topic, conversations run fast, with directly aggressive insults and highly personal reproaches. Often, the people concerned vilify your well-intentioned inquiries and make you and your disturbing helpfulness the topic of conversation with third parties. This very cowardly and also contemptuous behavior should serve you as a clear sign.

These people simply have no honest interest in a change of behavior and they’ll demonstrate it in a very rude way. With close acquaintances and friends this is naturally particularly hurtful, therefore you should keep your distance if at all possible and think deeply about maintaining this relationship.

Today’s Conclusion

What would the world and people be without their problems? Conflicts, discontent, resignation and hard conversations are an inseparable part of life. Offering your help to others in need can act as an initial spark for a better future, but their taking should also include giving back. Only those who want to be helped can really do something with your support. Therefore, always keep an eye on who you are trying to help and, above all, what their motivation is. That's it for today.