Take a Different Pathway! This Is How You Let Go of the Past!
Sometimes we let close friends or family members criticize us. We accept such criticism as constructive because we are sure of the good intentions behind it. Sometimes, however, problems arise among friends. Even in the best family situations, disputes do occur. An untimely or unintentional word might be spoken, because not every criticism is appropriate at every moment. But honestly our sharpest and most severe critic is ourselves. No one judges us as harshly as we ourselves. Nothing escapes us. We notice the smallest failings. We all know the sleepless nights when it seems impossible to achieve the inner peace which would allow sound sleep. We try to forget or disregard what bothers us, but something just won't let go. In this article we’ll show you how to free yourself from your past.
1. Allow yourself to think about mistakes
Why are we so critical of ourselves? And why is forgiveness so difficult? Definitely a deeper look into psychology would be worthwhile. There are a few ideas that could point us in the right direction. Right from the beginning we’ll start talking about our own upbringing. If we were not allowed to make mistakes as children, we will certainly not allow ourselves to do so in adulthood.
Without consciously working through this issue, as an adult we will always be influenced by our childhood experiences. Second, by the time we enter the work world, we will certainly run into people who elbow their way to their goals. We’re forced to learn that not everyone plays fairly in their pursuit of personal success.
In our own pursuit of professional, or even private recognition, the mistakes are outweighed by the successes—yet we obsess about the mistakes. No wonder, then, that it doesn't take us long to discover the next critical point about ourselves.
2. Give objectivity the upper hand
Let's not misunderstand each other, healthy self correction is good for everyone. No one is free of mistakes. We are all constantly evolving precisely because of mistakes. The question is how we approach the reflection on our errors, because all too often we fall into the trap of focusing only on the tiresome question of guilt.
The focus is then no longer on the objective consideration of the preceding situations, the center of our reflection becomes once again our subjectively perceived failings. It would be much simpler and much more productive for our future to reflect on the mistake in a purely objective way—this gives us the opportunity to overcome our errors in the future.
Everything else leaves us in the old story of the eternal sinner. However, we are not interested in repentance at this moment, we want to correct our mistake in order not to commit the same mistake again.
3. Provide yourself a positive environment
Certainly, it is also crucial to control how much we let events and certain people get to us. Mistakes do not come out of nowhere, and part of analyzing a mistake is always questioning the possible causes of the mistake. One cause may be the environment, because it will always have at least a partial influence on our thoughts and actions. You can easily see this with teenagers. The so-called peer groups are extremely important to teenagers. So it happens again and again that the development of children from the best homes ends up quite different from what was hoped for and expected. The key word here is “letting go.” When situations or people clearly do not do us any good, then we must depart the company and pathway we had earlier taken together. Hardly anything can change for the better, if you choose to remain in a harmful environment.
4. Detach yourself from the past and be ready for something new
If you mentally remain stuck in your past troubles, it will make you insecure in the long run. You may even develop fears and anxiety about making the same mistakes again. Surely we should all learn from our past, but remember that it is water under the bridge. The past is behind and unchangeable.
So letting go not only means physically separating yourself from situations and people, but also separating yourself psychologically. Only then will you be really ready for new situations and people. Let yourself get involved with new things and new acquaintances and observe what your gut feeling tells you. Ask yourself if this new person or situation is leading you to something better? Does this person contribute a little bit to your happiness?
5. Be mindful of yourself
In general, we can all practice more mindfulness. Far too seldom do we allow ourselves to be in healthy contact with ourselves, and the right sense of self is in danger of being lost. Through practical and everyday mindfulness exercises you come closer to yourself, you are more aware of your emotions and needs. At the same time it makes you more empathic.
You can better empathize with situations and people. If you treat yourself with care, hardly anyone will not feel comfortable around you, because you have a positive effect on others. Your charisma is then perceived as attractive, and other people are much more likely to be interested in you as a person. In the same way, new acquaintances and situations will arise for you, which will positively affect your future and have no relation to the past.
6. Get connected to your emotions
Of course, not every emotion is always convenient for us, so we like to close ourselves off. To stop ourselves from boiling over, we try to keep a lid on it. This behavior is not at all beneficial for our mental health. Instead, you should give your emotions space when they are just crying out for it. You are allowed to be angry, sad, disappointed or even mad, and you are allowed to be angry about your mistake. So let your emotions flow before they become congested, which will inevitably lead to the next mistake.
7. Forgive yourself, forgive others
Forgiveness is a a challenge in failure analysis for most of us. We find it very difficult to forgive ourselves, probably for the reasons already mentioned. Forgiveness, however, is the key to loving oneself and therefore loving one's neighbor. It is quite essential to love oneself despite our faults. If we are able to do this, it will be easier for us to forgive the mistakes of others, because only forgiveness really allows us to let go of guilt or other negative emotions which impede our progress.
8. Professionals can broaden your perspective
You don't need to be ashamed of your mistakes, on the contrary. If you want to learn from them and grow from them, it is rather an expression of strong character. It can be helpful for your own development to seek professional help. For example, in the form of coaching. The professional view from the outside can help you move forward constructively.
Today’s short Conclusion
When reflecting, always remember that mistakes are good if you learn from them. You should not overdramatize every mistake. Some, however, turn out to have been the cause of a real positive change of direction when you look back on them later. If you are able to deal with your own mistakes in a positive way, you’ll be well on your way to letting go of your past and looking optimistically to the future. That's it for today.