Things a Narcissist Would Never Do

If you are looking for a clear and simple image of a narcissistic personality, you should briefly recall the wicked stepmother from Snow White. She perfectly meets the criteria for such personalities. However, they are also very adept at keeping us in the dark about their true intentions for as long as it serves their cause.

One thing is clear: to them, we are not partners, friends, or like-minded people. We are instruments that can serve them for awhile—until they reach their goal. What’s left behind is an interpersonal rubble field and, not infrequently, a broken heart.

Thank God narcissists, however, are so preoccupied with themselves that they invest neither time nor effort in elaborate disguise. In this article we’ll present to you the warning signs that you are dealing with a narcissist.

1. They Don’t Reveal Their True Character

At the beginning of an acquaintance, narcissists are world champions at discerning whether we are of use to them. If so, they will shower us with niceties and never leave our side. They are courteous and keep in constant contact.

Surprisingly, they seem to hardly have a family, and equally few friends. Mutual acquaintances might provide cryptic and even critical clues to their character, but we do not heed the warnings in the rush of new acquaintance.

2. The Relationship Always Remains in the Unknown

Narcissists love mind games. A relationship with them can become the purest emotional roller coaster. They use carrots and sticks, and even when they are not personally present, they bombard their victims with ambivalent messages.

The magical beginning of a relationship with a narcissist is history the moment the narcissist thinks he or she has safely reached his or her goal. Then they stop answering calls or show themselves to be cool and distant, only to give exuberant vows of love again the next moment.

3. The Others Are Always to Blame

When a narcissist enters our lives, we should not be surprised if some things start to develop in a strange direction. We suddenly have problems that we didn't even know existed before. Narcissistic personalities love to slip into the victim role. If we are not 100% on their side in this, we become the enemy.

4. Control Is Everything

The only thing narcissists love even more than their role as victims is exerting control. They are true masters at making those around them dance like puppets, and making the most of every situation. Popular strategies in the battle for control include constant physical contact, the constant bombardment of messages and calls, and strategically placed niceties designed to keep us under their spell.

5. They Are Always Right

They know best about everything. No one can hold a candle to them and everyone else is just a stupid follower anyway. Narcissists like to hog the conversation. It serves their greed for attention, as well as their addiction to control the situation. If they can express their opinion, they are temporarily satisfied.

6. Others Are Not Their Equals

Narcissists tend to view their fellow human beings as subordinates and as a means to an end, not as equal partners. They also usually make no secret of the fact that no one is their equal.

7. They Feel No Compassion

Narcissists know neither compassion nor empathy. It is therefore frighteningly easy for them to break off relations with people whom they no longer need, or have grown tired of. They couldn’t care less about any emotional dilemma they might be plunging their partners into.

8. Every Action Serves a Purpose

Even if narcissists do charity work or show interest in other people's projects, you can be sure it serves only one purpose—their purpose. If they are ever helpful, you can confidently expect to be promptly presented with the bill for it on a silver platter.

9. A Narcissist Doesn't Take Orders

They are immune to good advice and also to directives that come from superiors, teachers, or other authority figures. There are situations in life in which even narcissists are forced to comply. However, one can assume that revenge for this so-called humiliation will quickly follow.

10. They Have No Feelings

Were they capable of feelings like other people, they would not be able to go through with all of their actions with their typical ice coldness. Narcissists only know how to fake emotions, with their spectrum ranging from true, unwavering love to a cinematic outburst in tears. An audience as large as possible is preferred.

11. They Don’t Listen

Those who don't give others any credit and consider themselves brilliant, unique, and God's gift to humanity, don't waste half an ear listening to what others might have to say. A narcissist will merely feign attention when it suits his purposes, or when a camera is pointed at him or her.

12. As Soon as the Situation Bores Them, They Move On

Life and the people in it are one big self-service store for narcissists. Anyone who is no longer interesting, helpful, or somehow valuable for their advancement is weeded out. Partners or mates are traded for better ones who can offer more money, more prestige, or better social standing. Friends also become unnecessary at some point. But they remain on speed dial—just in case they could become useful again.

13. Status Not Goodness

Narcissists like to move in so-called better circles. By nature, they feel called to higher things and cast their nets exclusively where money, power, or social status are up for grabs.

14. Narcissists Give Neither Praise Nor Compliments

It almost goes without saying, but no narcissist would ever bring themselves to say anything nice about others. Everything done for them is taken for granted, and nothing or no one is good, or good enough, in their world anyway.

15. Politeness is Beneath Them

Narcissistic personalities don't expend effort on niceties. They storm into bars and stores without a greeting, treat staff and service personnel with arrogance and disdain, and behave like the proverbial elephant in the china shop.

Today’s Conclusion: Pride Sometimes Comes Before the Fall

Fairy tale books with wicked stepmothers may have gone a little out of fashion as an educational tool. Instead, in the 21st century, the media and social networks reliably supply us with information about more or less prominent examples of how not to do things in life. The good thing about it is that narcissists can no longer carry out their diabolical handiwork quite as unseen and unpunished as they used to do. That's it for today.