Are YOU Still Struggling With the Aftermath of a Trauma You’ve Experienced?
Traumatic experiences carry a heavy weight. The initial threat to life and limb is not over with the mere survival of these situations. Trauma victims frequently report that the real struggle takes place after the fact. It doesn't matter whether it's a tragic accident, a natural disaster, a violent crime or physical and psychological abuse. Trauma can take many forms and have a lasting impact on the rest of our lives in just as many ways. It sits so firmly embedded in our subconscious that it sometimes threatens to consume us from the inside out. Our body, our emotions and our soul suffer from the aftereffects. Overcoming trauma looks different for each person. But all tragedies have one thing in common. Without professional support, life after trauma hardly seems worth living to most of those affected. Only with therapeutic help and a lot of patience is there a way out of the shadows and into the light. In this article, we would like to show you some signs of how a past trauma can still torment and hurt you.
1. Incessant circling thoughts
Obsessive brooding and rumination without pause are clear signs that a life crisis or a particular event is not letting go of us. Our mind makes frantic attempts at trying to understand what we have experienced. We humans are programmed to mentally process everything we see, hear and feel and eventually put it to rest. Trauma victims wish for nothing more: alone, they often do not succeed, or if they do, it is very seldom. Any attempt to repress or consciously fade out this ever-haunting cinema in our heads is often unsuccessful. The negative flashbacks and all the associated what-if scenarios sooner or later push back to the surface.
2. Addictive tendencies
When the soul is at a loss, it turns to the body for help. The body has a number of strategies for coping with overload and complete exhaustion. Unfortunately, not all of its suggestions are healthy and therefore helpful in the long run. When we feel bad, it is sometimes enough to artificially activate our reward center in the brain. We reach for chocolate or a glass of wine, have a smoke or treat ourselves to a nice meal. Other people find their temporary nirvana in shopping. Still others need a heavier hand to feel better in the short term. It's no surprise, then, that trauma victims are more often than not prone to addictive behaviors. The range includes all sorts of compensatory strategies, from the legal to the illegal. In addition to the familiar means of choice such as alcohol, drugs and medication, lesser-known ones also come into play, such as non-stop adrenaline rushes or exaggerated addiction to sports.
3. Happiness makes you suspicious
One of the worst aftermaths of surviving trauma is the distrust we have of happiness. We can hardly enjoy anything beautiful in our lives without questioning it. People trigger skepticism and doubt in us, and everything good we are allowed to experience comes with an expiration date from the start. Every day and every minute we expect that things will quickly change again to our disadvantage. Anyone who has had to experience firsthand that evil never sleeps and can strike mercilessly at any time will never be able to rid themselves of this realization.
4. Emotional outbursts and lack of impulse control
Trauma not only destroys our outer world, but also our inner world. Very few people are able to contain the vast amounts of emotions that come flooding in after surviving a tragedy or a prolonged period of abuse or mistreatment. Just as our mind cannot calm down and sort and process everything, neither can our heart. As a result, it becomes the norm that we can no longer control our emotions. We probably tried to suppress them for a long time because what we felt would have been simply too painful. At some point, however, the pressure becomes too great, and anger, fear, sadness and rage push their way out. In everyday life, these mechanisms show themselves in unpredictable behavior, where the smallest triggers are enough to make those affected fly off the handle.
5. Unsatisfactory relationships
Trauma survivors are rarely lucky in love. Even under the most favorable circumstances and with the most understanding partners at their side, they will always find it difficult to enter into and maintain relationships. One reason is the overall mistrust they harbor toward others since their experience, especially if specific people once harmed them. As in the case of violent crime or abuse, from that point on people are only a risk factor for them. But the reverse can also happen. Trauma victims often think of themselves as being down on their luck. They would like to spare loved ones by their side this fate. Thus, it often happens that they sabotage relationships and deliberately cause breakups in order to bring their loved one to safety from the dark curse that seems to haunt them. The third bad choice with regard to relationships is that same recurring pattern by which sufferers choose the people in their lives. The story of trauma then repeats itself in each new partnership like an infinite, miserable loop.
6. Avoidant tendencies
It is not only romantic relationships that trauma survivors like to avoid. They fundamentally shy away from any kind of commitment and engagement. A life as an outsider in society seems easiest to them. If possible, they do not let anyone get close to them. Former trauma victims will always be those peculiar employees who skip Christmas parties and company outings and spend their lunch break alone. Privately, they masterfully avoid any form of social interaction and do their best to avoid answering personal questions. Arrogance or a conceited character are not always the reason for this aloofness. More often than we think, trauma from days past is still at play.
7. Emotional intelligence remains a work in progress
If you have to constantly suppress your feelings and keep them on a short leash, you leave them no room for development. How are you supposed to develop your emotional capabilities if the top priority is avoidance? It is self-explanatory that those affected have to carry around one big emotional construction site all their lives. They are not only unable to express their own needs, but they are also unable to recognize and fulfill those of others. Social interaction with trauma victims may therefore feel like emotional Siberia to outsiders and to those who are unaware of the situation. As partners or parents, they hardly ever manage to open up and truly allow closeness. The challenge will be a lifelong one for all involved.
Todays' conclusion: The demon at our side
Trauma is and remains a prison for life. This factor cannot be glossed over. Anyone who has once been degraded to the status of a helpless victim, and perhaps even over a longer period of time, cannot escape this long shadow. Every subsequent life decision, every happiness and every opportunity are clouded by these experiences. They reinforce everything bad that happens to us and leave no fertile ground for the good to grow. As a result, quite a few of those affected will sooner or later develop suicidal thoughts, deliberately put their lives at risk, or give free rein to addictive tendencies. Trauma is like an evil twin. We can't live with it, but there is no life without it either.