5 Emotional Wounds We Carry From Childhood Into Adulthood!
The behavior of an adult person is defined in childhood. Events and situations you lived through as a child will shape you for your entire life. Thus, emotional health in childhood is the foundation for emotional health in adulthood. However, it is possible to heal the wounds of childhood. For this, the first step is to become aware of the wounds you suffered in your childhood. Only after recognizing injuries can the healing process begin. If the wounds are not recognized, they may accompany you for your entire life. In this case, there would remain a permanent subconscious fear that the suffering you experienced might be repeated. In response to this, behavioral patterns develop in the subconscious that can be used to circumvent the specific situations. The development of your real character would be undermined. To clarify all of this, in this article we’ll present you with 5 emotional wounds that we can carry from childhood into adulthood.
1. Fear of Abandonment
Evolutionarily speaking, being alone often means death for a child. On the one hand, there is potential loss of one’s food supply. On the other hand, there is no protection against the outer world. This results in a primal childhood fear of being left alone. If a child is left alone today, usually the life of the child is generally not in such a dangerous situation; nevertheless, the primal instinct takes hold. Being left alone and unprotected in childhood results in the development of an enormous fear. As a result of this fear, an enormous pain arises. In addition, the thought burns itself into the brain that being alone must always be avoided. In order to avoid this problem in the future, the adult develops a subconscious armor of distance from others, and from personal projects. The slightest doubt about a relationship or project results in a break. In the case of a close relationship, there is a risk that the suffering from childhood will be repeated. The emotional wound could be opened again. Reflection is the first step in escaping this burden. Become conscious of your childhood suffering and realize that the inflicted suffering must not be allowed to undermine your current life.
2. Rejection by Important People
In childhood, affection and attention are extremely important. In this environment a child learns to express feelings, thoughts, and experiences to others. In addition, a child develops his own idea of belonging, or acceptance, as his expressions meet approval. However, if his expressions are not accepted by important figures in his life, such as parents, family, or similar persons, the child is prevented from developing a healthy self-esteem. Rejection evokes a sense of inferiority in the child. In addition, the ability to love others is not fully learned. Those who have never experienced perfect love have problems passing this love on to others. In such a childhood, the feeling of not deserving affection and love arises. In order to circumvent this problem, the urge for self-isolation arises and the inner fears persist into adulthood. As a result, reticence and shyness develop, whereas these traits are not necessary at all. If you have felt such rejection as a child, you should try to overcome the self-isolation you have imposed upon yourself. You will find that people will not normally reject you and your ideas.
3. Humiliation
If a child feels that his peers frequently criticize and disapprove of him, he experiences a high level of distress and a feeling of inadequacy. This happens mainly when a child is told that he is bad, clumsy, or annoying. In such a situation, the child perceives constant humiliation. If a child's problems are discussed without involving the child in the discussion, the same humiliation results. The consequence is the destruction of healthy self-esteem. If there is no healthy self-esteem, the development of an appropriate love for oneself becomes more difficult. The consequences usually manifest themselves in adulthood through various behaviors.
Dependency: In this situation, one’s own decisions are left for others to handle. One's own decision-making power is crippled by low self-esteem.
Bullying: In order to distract from one's own humiliation, the victim becomes the perpetrator. The bullying of others serves to divert attention from ones own deficiencies.
Selfishness: Since a healthy love for oneself cannot be developed, the body creates an exaggerated self-love for self-protection, which brings selfish behavior. If this affliction affects you, you should try to work on your independence. Become clear about your strengths and weaknesses so that negative comments directed at you no longer affect you emotionally.
4. Untrustworthy People
A child trusts promises and commitments made by people close to him or her. However, if these are not kept, the child perceives it as a kind of cheating or betrayal. This develops into a fundamental distrust of others. This distrust in turn leads to envy of people who can be relied upon to keep promises. With advancing age, the fear of losing control develops. For self-protection, affected people often become perfectionists. Dependence on others is reduced to a large extent. If you have had to struggle with such a fate, you should try to discard this protective mechanism. Human life functions at its best in community. Try to give up some control and responsibility to others. With patience and tolerance, you have a good chance of shedding this emotional wound from childhood.
5. Unfair Treatment of Caregivers
Unfair treatment is mostly experienced by children who are brought up by cold and authoritarian caregivers. The child often cannot meet the expected high standards and as a result feels unwanted and useless. The pain suffered develops over time into a drive to succeed. And one seeks to be treated fairly. Often the importance of oneself is overemphasized. Achieving great power is the goal, so that others develop respect for oneself. To achieve this goal, individuals tend to radicalize their ideas. To counter this problem, it is advisable not to make one's life dependent on the encouragement of other people. One's actions should be self-determined. Actions should not be based on the expected encouragement of fellow human beings, but on one's own inner ideas.
Today’s Conclusion
The first step in healing emotional wounds is reflection. If one or more of the above 5 cases apply to you, you should first explore whether the consequences of these emotional wounds are shaping you in adulthood. In the second step, you can work on not letting the pain from childhood guide you, and seek professional help and support if necessary. That's it for today.