Why Do People in Relationships Cheat?
Six bad reasons to do the wrong thing. Recent studies on cheating in relationships do not bode well for the romantics among us: 44% of women and 41% of men have cheated on their partners at least once while they were in steady hands. The number of unreported cases is probably much higher. Of course, at this point you could start to think about what actually counts as a fling and where the boundaries of cheating are drawn. The answer is quite simple: When we start to lie to our partners, we intuitively know that we are on the wrong track. This can being even before a face-to-face meeting with or without intimacy. Cheating starts in the mind. When our thoughts and feelings are more often with other people than with the person we think we're in a relationship with, the floodgates are practically already open for a fling. The right path in a relationship is the one that can be taken without secrecy. If you still want to investigate the causes - In this article we present you the six most common reasons why people cheat in relationships.
1. They don't want to commit or can't commit.
People with a fidelity problem actually have more of a commitment problem, they constantly feel like they're missing out on something or someone if they stay monogamous. When we’re young, the next fling is only a mouse click or a swipe away; so nothing is easier than to constantly go in search of the ultimate experience in terms of eroticism. Unfortunately, this longing always remains unfulfilled. You can think of this desire a bit like the second helping of dessert: The tiramisu does not get better with more of it. By the way, it would be unfair to blame nature for this, since it has programmed men in particular for maximum reproduction. What distinguishes our animal instincts from those of the animal world is the ability to assess the consequences of our actions and make conscious decisions.
2. They are bad at saying no
It's hard to believe, but many flings are downright forced on people who are bad at setting boundaries. This does not mean coercion. Some people find it difficult to say no and turn down invitations. To refuse a clearly ambiguous offer would seem almost impolite and unkind to them. People labeled as "nice" often slip into this dilemma. When they meet the hunter-gatherers among the night owls, they might find themselves in strange beds in the morning. However, a weak character is neither an excuse nor a free pass. If someone presents you with this reason as an excuse to cheat, you have two reasons to look for a partner with a stronger character.
3. They cheat on their partners out of revenge
This is where the sandbox wars from childhood unfortunately resurface in us behaviorally. If a child takes away our shovel, we destroy their sand castle. Give and take in a relationship is certainly not meant that way. Just because a partner has disappointed us, cheating is not the adequate response. Unless you are completely hardened and emotionally cold, don't believe the myth of sensational revenge sex either. The only sensational thing the day after will be your guilt. Once the spiral of favors and hurts has taken hold in a relationship, action is urgently needed, but it should not take the form of cheating. Here, rather, love, respect and mutual appreciation are in order.
4. Love happens when we least expect it
Unfortunately, this saying doesn’t come from nowhere. A lonely evening in a foreign city, a business trip, a bad Rico hotel bar. At least in movies, these are always the ingredients for an unplanned fling. Again, you have to weigh the consequences, if you are mentally capable of doing so. Once hormones have taken control of the situation, it's too late anyway. Some relationships endure such slips quite well. As with criminal acts, it makes a difference whether intent was involved or not; whether one confesses to cheating or tries to get away with it is up to each and everyone. However, studies show that partners can guess in four out of five cases when such an interlude has occurred. Whether you get off better with confession or denial, no one will be able to predict.
5. You have fallen out of love
In relationships, flings are often not the actual reason for the subsequent breakup, they are just a symptom that things have not been right for a while. When everyday life has crept in and both sides are only busy organizing children, household and two jobs, togetherness definitely falls by the wayside. Sometimes, however, love simply drifts away due to the passage of time. In this case, of course, there are still many ways to deal with the failure of the relationship, provided that there is communication. But the essential question at this point is: Do both partners want this at all? Betrayal is often the easier “out” of a relationship that has only existed as a roommate situation for years. In such cases, a fling can almost be seen as a chance to start over, either alone or with a new partner.
6. Needs remain unfulfilled
Sexuality is a point in relationships that should be a topic much more often than it actually is. Hardly ever do both sides get what they really want. Men often lack the sizzling eroticism, women the tenderness and the admiration and confirmation. All of this wanes over time, as does romance overall. Even if the needs in this sensitive area aren’t on the same page at the beginning of the partnership, which they rarely are anyway, they flatten out over the years, but not equally on both sides. Seeking passion and recognition outside one's own four walls then seems almost a logical consequence. The only question is whether an open conversation at the right time would not have been more purposeful. It's certainly more unpleasant than a passionate fling, that's for sure. But the main question you should be asking yourself is: What do I really want at this point in my life, and with whom?
Today’s Conclusion:
Back to happiness thanks to flings? Admittedly, there are couples who can actually use cheating as a chance for a new start together. The majority, however, fail in this breach of trust and can no longer get back on track together. Even if one decides to stay together, a stale aftertaste remains, which is breeding ground for constant jealousy and permanent distrust. You should think about all these facts for at least a second before indulging in the rush of hormones. Speaking of seconds, by the way, the average lovemaking session lasts seven minutes. This fact alone would suggest weighing the consequences. At best, you've gained a few moments of passion, but you've lost an entire life together. That's it for today.