THIS Is What You Have to Accept If You Want to Find True Love!
How often in life do we fall in love? The answer would probably surprise you. After all, most of the time we just think we're in love. We may be excited or heavily attracted to someone. Sometimes we feel extremely physically attracted to a person or feel admiration and spiritual agreement. Even pity can drive us to enter into a relationship with someone, not to mention loneliness and an unconditional desire to no longer be a pot without a lid. True love is a serious matter. We may encounter it once or twice in our lives, but certainly not more often. Therefore, it is worth approaching it with respect and reverence. And you should also take the following 7 truths to heart in advance.
1. Even love has an expiration date
Even if it is love, this state is not a permanent one. We have to say goodbye to the idea of eternal love as well as to the idea that it will make its way through life all by itself. Love is not a game, it is a wonderful state of mind between 2 consenting individuals, but it comes with a few strings attached. Game rules apply here, which we humans did not create. There are couples who stay together for a lifetime. We only see their staying together, but not the many concessions and compromises that may have been made. Some people believe in soul pacts. These are supposed to guarantee that we will have our soulmate by our side again in the next life and the one after that. Nevertheless, everlasting love remains a pipe dream, a mirage and an invention of the fine arts, but not a gift from God.
2. Even true love is not a sure thing
Probably the most beautiful addition to any life is true love. Without question, it appears to most people as the ultimate happiness in life. Once they have reached the goal of this quest, however, there is no question of sitting back contentedly and not having to do anything more to ensure this wonderful state. If you ask couples who have been living together more happily than unhappily for a long time, you hear one phrase over and over again: a love is work. But this is not how we imagined it. When we reach a point where compromise and understanding are required, we wonder where the magic and enchantment of the beginning have gone.
3. Even in love, there are boundaries that must be respected
Privacy and intimacy are topics that are better written in capital letters, even in love. Just because you have found each other does not mean that you have to completely give up your own life and personality. Even lovers remain two independent personalities, which may have corners and edges and also one or the other secret from each other. This does not mean deceit or deceitfulness. But the secret reading of diaries or rummaging through bags and clothes is an invasion that no one deserves.
4. Love will not complete you
What we love most about love is the idea of ourselves when it finally arrives. We then see ourselves as the person we always wanted to be. We would be brimming with self-confidence and good looks. Our social status would shoot up to astronomical heights in no time, and we would be one thing above all else: happy. But that's not how real love works. It cannot repair, heal or turn an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan. All these processes must take place within us, which is why no one but ourselves can be responsible for them. Go ahead and hope for everything from true love, but don't overestimate your expectations.
5. Take love as it is and don't correct it
Human beings are not perfect. Love, although it represents a heavenly power, will not be either. No partner falls from the sky like a flawless angel. There will always be construction zones that annoy you about your better half. But don't make the mistake of trying to fix them. You are not the mother, father or legal guardian of your loved one. To truly love a person from the heart always means adding a fair amount of generosity and tolerance to the overall equation. There is almost nothing worse than subliminally telling our partners that they are not good enough for us by means of constant nagging. Because that is exactly the message we are sending.
6. If a lot remains unclear, it's not love
A true bond with a promising future requires a lot of communication. There is no other way to get to know each other better than talking and exchanging ideas. If one half refuses to talk or declares some topics off limits, you're not dealing with love. It's flirting, maybe just a space filler or you're the second choice because the first one isn't interested. Love, on the other hand, makes us grow together and always want the best for each other. Conversations about the future, near and far, must be as much a topic as family planning, careers, or the next vacation. The L-word is also allowed to be spoken. If you never know how you're really doing in a relationship and whether your feelings will be reciprocated, you're forever dancing on eggshells and will never feel at home in a safe haven.
7. Nothing works without self-love
How is another person supposed to like or even love us if we don't do it ourselves? The director Woody Allen skillfully summed up this dilemma. From him comes the quote: "'I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member". There is hardly a better way to put the dislike of oneself into words. If you wonder why love has given you a wide berth so far, check your self-love level. If you think of yourself as neither attractive nor lovable, likeable, smart, or entertaining, you will send that exact message out into the world. This miserable testimony then sticks to us as visibly as the legendary scarlet letter. Even if someone should be interested in us, this warning will certainly not lack in its effect. People who are at odds with themselves constantly carry this sad circumstance around with them like a knight's armor. This self-chosen armor is impenetrable even for the most ambitious romantics. It makes conquest impossible. The fact is: those who seek love must first discover that to themselves.
Today's Conclusion: All or nothing
True love does not shelter ambiguous circumstances. It's not the cosmic repair service for damages of all kinds and its sense of time is gravely different from ours. Love does not want to be criticized and optimized, does not appreciate half-hearted attempts at education and, above all, is not there to fill a void inside us. It is neither infinite nor self-explanatory. Love is everything and not in equal parts. Those who have it should treat it well and declare it their greatest treasure. Whoever wants to have it needs patience and must be able to find themselves well. Otherwise, unfortunately, love will not find us either. That's it for today.