Important Messages That Show YOU YOUR Fear
Sometimes losing courage is only half the story. Fear is an important and powerful emotion, it can paralyze and protect us in equal measure. How we experience fear is diverse and ranges from a light queasy feeling to a real anxiety disorder. This manifests itself in the form of panic attacks, phobias and numerous physical symptoms.
Fear is ever present - ignoring it goes against our genetic programming. The reason for this is simple - fear saves lives. But the many different ways it manifests itself can have other functions too, each of which is valuable and important and all the more reason to face the messages our fear desperately wants to convey to us. In this article, we would like to introduce you to six of these messages…
Monotony suppresses happiness.
Has your life taken on a fixed routine, spinning round and round like you’re a hamster on a wheel? Does escape seem futile and there’s no sign of things getting better? Fear can sometimes be something of a corrective response, reminding us of what should really matter in life. Life is not about being held hostage to deadlines and constrained by the decisions of others. The fear of missing out on something is justified.
You might fear missing out on the beautiful things in life, engaging in fulfilling conversations, cultivating your hobbies and passions. If everything that brings you happiness just passes in a fleeting moment, the fear inside you tightens into a fist and demands a change of course. There’s a small but subtle difference between adding structure to your days and smothering them in monotony. The all-important factor that balances the scales is happiness.
A break would do you good.
Fear can sometimes serve as a good invitation to take a short vacation from life. When routine takes over and we are no longer able to maintain a balance, we need a break. If we feel that fear welling up inside, a nice cup of coffee on the porch is no longer enough to vanquish the stress. We are then caught in an endless loop where a sense of responsibility, time pressure, the expectations of others and our own high standards can leave us exhausted.
When this abstract fear begins to manifest itself more intensely inside us, it’s time to take action. You’ll kow it when everyday life threatens to collapse in on us, like a tsunami consuming everything in its path. The change doesn’t have to take long, but it has to be consistent and drastic. An afternoon alone at home won’t be enough if things have gotten this far.
Treat yourself to a short but qualitatively valuable break from the people around you and your usual surroundings. Afterwards you’ll be a better person to be around. You’ll break your robotic cycle and start to feel more human again.
You’re taking on too much.
In this day and age we shouldn’t still be dealing with the burden of juggling too many things in life, but for many people, particularly women, it’s a brutal reality they have to face every day. Spinning all these different plates at the same time has become the minimum standard expected of people - to the point that we’re even skeptical of people who freely admit that they are not stressed. The idea that society expects us to be constantly pushing ourselves leads inevitably to burnout. By the time we notice this pressure, our body is already feeling the symptoms.
Our psyche is already in a state of emergency, but we keep going regardless. This is where fear can be useful – it tells us we’re in a time of need, a time when our body has every reason to be afraid, for constant high blood pressure, lack of sleep, poor diet, stress, lack of exercise and sunlight are a toxic cocktail that can strain us to breaking point. If you keep the candle burning at both ends, eventually you will burn out.
Your needs are neglected.
Losing sight of yourself happens faster than you think. Our relationships, children, careers and social life demand our full attention. They all tug at our resources and they all want 100%. Sometimes we simply go on auto-pilot, which can be useful and practical. However, in most cases this mainly serves others and not ourselves. By operating on automatic, we reduce ourselves to service providers who have to deliver, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you recognize yourself in this picture, it shouldn’t be surprising if you occasionally feel anxious. This auto-pilot behavior just rubs salt in the wounds you inflict upon yourself. You reach a point where your life is reduced to mere existence, mainly to serve others. You may not even know who you used to be anymore. When we are at risk of losing touch with our true selves, all of our systems act in fear. Our self-perception can tolerate a little imbalance, but not a total loss of identity to the point of complete self-abandonment.
Be patient!
Fear is actually a practical emotion. Challenging us is precisely its purpose, precisely that is its strength. Sometimes fear wells up inside when we have been working towards something for a long time that we feel we may never achieve. We may be planning a career change or want to finally move town and find new love.
Sometimes life leaves us warming the bench. There are good reasons for this though and it’s not necessarily to be avoided. On the contrary, this period of waiting will provide us with a few valuable insights for later. But of course, we don’t know that yet. The fear of failing, falling short of our expectations, or missing out on something great gnaws away at us.
You spend too much time with the wrong people.
Even rigorous science has come to recognize our gut as a sort of second brain. What many people have always known has now received the blessing of respected research institutions. Our gut feeling is never wrong, it is faster at recognizing and processing information than our brain. Our hunches have a certain insight that our conscious minds can only dream of. If being around certain people makes you feel nauseous, if you are completely exhausted after meeting them, or if the thought of seeing them again sends shivers down your spine, fearis speaking to you.
A classic example of this type of anxiety is the infamous Monday blues. Anyone who really doesn’t like their job knows that just the thought of the start of another week can bring that queasy feeling in the pit of their stomach. For some people, this manifests itself so strongly that they can hardly even enjoy the weekend. Our surroundings should provide us with joy and inspiration, not an uneasiness that feels suspiciously like fear.
Today’s Conclusion.
See fear as a worthy friend request. If your fear wants in, don’t reject it. Fear is one of our oldest companions. Fear has always protected humanity and guarded us from unwise decisions. It is an important and central protagonist in our emotional story..