How You Can Find Happiness in the Darkest Times
Happiness is not a permanent condition in our lives, but neither is unhappiness! Most people perceive their lives to be a fair overall package of happiness and sadness. Anyone who is reasonably at peace with himself and the world knows that it would be impossible to be permanently happy.
Happiness always only lasts a short time. In a happy, social gathering, with our family, or at sunrise on the summit of a mountain all alone: happiness is always only a snapshot, not an endless video. The dark times serve the purpose of helping us learn to overcome them, grow, and emerge stronger. But unhappiness also provides an educational benefit to our lives, or at least it should:
Unhappiness allows us to recognize the transience of happiness and also that of our existence. Ideally, we draw the conclusion that we should enjoy and savor every day of our lives to the best of our ability. But how do we bring light into the darkness in the case of death, illness, or other strokes of fate?
It is extremely difficult for us to see this dark and deeply negative trough only as what it is, transient. But just as with happiness, unhappiness is only passing through; It is not a permanent condition. If you want to mentally prepare yourself for dark times ahead, let me equip you with a few tricks that we will discuss in our today’s article.
1. Everything Changes, Nothing Stays the Same
Consider the annual cycle of nature: in the spring everything awakens to new life; in the summer plants bloom and seeds ripen—the fruits and the fields are in full splendor. Life is at its peak and towards the end of summer, the harvest can be brought in. In autumn, nature slowly begins to retreat and store its strength in its roots. Plants reorganize themselves to survive the winter.
Winter is a time for rest, recuperation, and regeneration. Human life is also put through this lifecycle. This is true both in the large sense of our lifetimes, and in the small everyday sense. You can think of joy and sorrow as spring and summer, autumn, and winter. They can never occur simultaneously. But they always work hand in hand. For you this means that everything in life, including suffering, pain and sorrow, is transient and does not last.
2. No Shadow Without Light
This mental exercise probably requires quite a bit of faith and spiritual grounding on your part. You could not understand this concept were your life nothing but endless suffering. Assuming that you are not endlessly suffering, then you will be able to see something good in every misfortune. To create shadow, there must be a source of light somewhere. It is difficult to find anything good in cases of great suffering, such as from the loss of loved ones, especially when our loved ones pass before their time.
We could hardly see any possible good in it. But there is a deeper meaning. Perhaps they were spared a long suffering path through illness, or you and other relatives and friends were spared years, or even decades, of self-sacrificing care, which in the end would only have prolonged the suffering and pain but not ended it. This idea requires a great deal of trust in the goodness of a higher power—as in the American motto: “In God We Trust.”
3. Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional
This quote from Buddha alludes to our very special human secret weapon for a happy life—our willpower. Regardless of your beliefs, no matter who you are, willpower is the most powerful tool at your disposal. In saying this, Buddha wanted to point out the two options that every human being has in the event of painful or sad circumstances.
It is true that we cannot escape pain, but it is up to us how we deal with it. One option is to accept it, allow it, and then try our best to pass it by. Or we can let the suffering overwhelm us, and take us down with it. In principle, however, we are only speaking about our free will and our most personal decision as to how to proceed from a low point..
4. What Has Worked for You Before?
If you've been in bad situations before, try to remember who or what helped you back then. Was it talking to certain people? Maybe you even got professional help? Were you spending a lot of time in nature or playing sports? Was working on your faith, or spiritual acts, such as meditation, or yoga, a help? Did you go on trips or otherwise find a nice way to distract yourself?
Distraction is generally not a bad idea provided it is not used to suppress the pain. You can try that in the short term, of course, but pain always wants to surface. If you can manage it, allow sorrow in and consciously use the power of love to get through it; only then will the pain eventually diminish in intensity and let you be free again.
5. The Pen Is Mightier Than the Sword
This wise saying of Charlemagne, is often quoted when the power of the written word is discussed. If you're going through a crisis, writing can be an extremely helpful tool for coping. The great advantage is that you can do it anytime and anywhere, even if the grief is not spontaneous and you want to do something about it urgently. Writing also costs nothing; the most effective is with physical handwriting, and for this you only need a pen and a sheet of paper.
Sometimes the presence of beauty can help people deal with the less beautiful. If you find the act of writing helpful, and you’d like to make writing a regular part of your everyday life, invest in a beautiful fountain pen and notebook. It may seem ridiculous to you, but beautiful objects always reliably cheer us up. A bouquet of flowers in your room would also lift your mood, at least a little bit more every day.
Today’s Conclusion: Seek Out Happiness Every Day
You can't force happiness, but you can force it to reveal itself. Every day offers us moments and situations that can at least make us smile. Children playing, a funny dog, a nice old couple still holding hands. A colorful meadow of flowers, or a kind gesture. If you keep your eyes open, you can experience moments of happiness every day.
You can even enhance these experiences by writing them down in the evening before you go to bed. Call this ritual, the three good things. Review the day and think about which three people or events made you happy today—at least a little bit. Be content with small things, then follow with the bigger ones that actually seem remarkable to us.
If you've always wanted to try gardening, this hobby offers non-stop happiness and a sense of achievement. When your first seed sprouts a tender green plant, you’ll be blown away. Or take up volunteer work, relief, or simply helping people who need help. Happiness that you give away returns to you tenfold. That's it for today.