Why Is It the Intelligent People Who So Often Have the Fewest Friends?

Friends in quality instead of quantity. For a long time it was just an assumption, but numerous studies have now supported this theory with plenty of facts. The higher the level of intelligence of a person, the fewer friends he has. Now, you might spontaneously think that the principle "like attracts like" allows the reverse conclusion that there are not that many intelligent people on this planet, but the reasons for this are actually quite different. We would like to introduce them to you in this article.

1. Smart people are demanding and picky.

Smart people know exactly what they want and what they don't want. They have seen and experienced a lot in life and have met a lot of people. It is difficult for them to see the sense behind a broad mass of acquaintances, when they can get through life just as well with an illustrious circle of just a few, but very good friends. Most of the really intelligent people have at some point understood how to make their way through life on their own and without any outside help. They are neither dependent on others, nor do they want to be in their debt. They know very well that it means much more to be able to rely on a few good friends than to have a large repertoire of false friends. And since fakers usually show their true colors very quickly anyway, intelligent people can easily recognize them in time to steer clear. Those who have made the decision for themselves to be sophisticated rather than unhappy can save themselves a lot of trouble and, conversely, will not fear missing out on the most interesting people with this attitude.

2. Smart people would rather be alone than in bad company.

One enormous advantage that smart people get from life is that they can spend time alone very productively. It’s easy for them to occupy themselves in pursuit of creative hobbies or their varied interests. They don't need other people for that, quite on the contrary. They even enjoy time alone, as it helps them replenish their energy reserves and recharge their batteries. They have already met enough people in their lives to know that not everyone has good intentions and that most would rather benefit from friendships than invest in them. Moreover, anyone with a little life experience knows how much trouble you can save yourself by pinpointing the wrong or questionable people and not willingly opening the door to your life to them. Intelligence may have some disadvantages in the interpersonal sphere, but the art of being able to spend time on one's own is clearly one of its advantages. The resulting independence is another enormous plus point that smart people can look upon with pride and that less intelligent people often have to do without.

3. Smart people think long-term.

Another ability that distinguishes smart people from the less smart is that of making long-term plans. They don't make important decisions on instinct, nor do they follow a spontaneous intuition or whimsical impulse. They are able to assess the consequences that their decisions in the here and now could have for their future. It matters who we bring on board in the long term. Wise people therefore prefer to be cautious when it comes to choosing their fellow human beings. It’s not uncommon to regret rash acquaintances. In some encounters, unfortunately, it is also foreseeable from the outset where the common journey will lead and that this path will not be equally pleasant and enjoyable for both sides. However, there are of course also people who choose their environment very carefully for a completely different reason. What counts for them is their image and the impression they make on the outside world. It does not speak particularly well of them, but they select their circle of friends to suit their lifestyle, whatever they would like to represent outwardly. Such tactical maneuvers are not as rare as one might think. Many intelligent people plan their private lives at least as meticulously as their careers. It is therefore not surprising that in such cases their circle of friends is also included in this planning. To what extent we approve of such strategies is another question. Cleverness and “seeming nice” don’t automatically go hand in hand through life.

4. Intelligent people appreciate what they already have.

This view of the friendship dynamic might be easier for us to understand. Those who are smart choose wisely early in life and remain more than satisfied with their choices. A handful of good and loyal friends is usually indeed all we need to get through life. Smart people are grateful for all the gifts they have already received from fate in their lives. Long-time friends who have perhaps already been through one or two lows with them are accordingly held in high esteem and do not have to share the place on their pedestal with others. You also know each other inside and out at some point and know when to intervene or when it's better to keep quiet and just act as a listening ear. The motto "less is more" probably doesn't apply anywhere in life as aptly as it does with regard to friendship.

5. You are often seen as elitist and arrogant.

A completely different aspect of why smart people often have to get by without a large circle of friends is their effect on other people. Even if it's not their intention, some simply come across as aloof and cold, which can quickly earn them a reputation for being arrogant and overbearing. In fact, many gifted personalities find it harder than average to connect with other people. They tend to be introverted and don't want to say the wrong thing. Unfortunately, this often results in them remaining silent and thus reinforces the impression that they consider themselves too good for this world or at least for the earthlings present. As is well known, prejudices work in every direction. Nobody ever said smart people can escape them or are exempt from this form of judgment.

Today’s Conclusion

Better lonely than lonely together? Whatever the reasons may ultimately be: smart people usually know exactly what they want and what they don't want. After a certain age, we all have a certain amount of life experience that can be of good service, especially when it comes to choosing one's inner circle. Not everyone who wants to be our friend has good intentions. We should therefore be sure to keep a particularly critical eye on all comers. In case of doubt, it is better to be alone than in bad company. At least we know where we stand and who will still be by our side when the party is over or mishap befalls us.