Leave It Out! This Makes You Less Attractive!
Our daily interactions need rules and boundaries. There are norms here that everyone knows and ideally, everyone also follows. Some things are kind of gray areas though, and they can be interpreted differently. What one person feels is rude, intrusive and rash, may not seem out of place at all to another person. We're talking about our behavior. It speaks volumes about our character and shows our fellow humans who they're dealing with in an instant. As is so often the case in life, our actions speak louder than our words. If you want to make a better impression on others in the future, here are a few social no-no's we've put together that you should avoid.
1. Jealousy is ugly
Jealousy is a 100% effective way to poison any relationship. Constant assumptions and accusations won’t only send your partner running, but it will negatively affect every kind of relationship. Envy and hate only serve one purpose in your family, between siblings and friends, or even at work. They push people away and make them constantly feel neglected and cheated. They then have to contend with the weight of fighting against an unfounded delusion that won’t listen to reason or logic. Jealousy is a clear sign of weakness and low self-esteem.
2. You don’t let others speak
Communication is the key to any relationship. Talking brings us closer together, allows us to find out what we have in common, and build on that. Ideally, a dialogue will develop that both people can contribute something to. Those who can listen with sympathy are the most popular here because their mannerisms immediately make us feel like they are interested and appreciative of what we have to say. It’s the opposite with people that don’t even let you finish your sentence. If you constantly interrupt the person you’re talking to, it doesn’t only show bad manners, it shows you don’t respect them. It crosses a line. Not wanting others to speak is degrading, and no one likes someone who just wants to feel superior like that. In fact, they’d avoid them.
3. You’re too clingy
As unpleasant as ignorance and coldness can be, the exact opposite can be almost as bad. Being extremely clingy and not respecting other people’s personal space is one of the main causes of friendships and relationships ending. Nobody appreciates someone clinging onto them for dear life or bombarding them with texts or calls. This doesn’t just make people feel like they can’t breathe, but it also takes away their last bit of autonomy. Partnerships and friendships alike need space to be able to grow. Being followed all over the place by misplaced affection or an overwhelming need for closeness borders on psychological torture. Everyone has the right to some privacy and not even our nearest and dearest are entitled to overstep this boundary.
4. You’re always moaning and complaining
When it comes to social interaction, those people who are ever the victim, talking of their chronic suffering, are the equivalent of dread personified. Here lurk the energy vampires and the attention seekers, the ones who are constantly miserable, the eternal desperados, who feel the need to share their negative world view no matter what. Just as bad, if not worse, are the full-time pessimists and critics that see everything in a bad light and turn everything into a negative. If you can only rant or wallow in self-pity, if you can’t leave any kind of good stamp on the world, then you’ll be very unpleasant to be around. These kinds of people don’t only seem exhausting, they also seem desperate and pitiful. There’s nothing wrong with this, but there are clearly easier ways to be attractive.
5. Your appearance matters too much
The outward appearance of someone plays a very interesting role when it comes to how attractive we find someone or how much we like them. A well looked after appearance is helpful but putting too much importance on it actually creates the opposite effect. Women that lay their foundation on with a trowel, or men who meticulously style every single hair on their head, reveal a lot about themselves to those around them. Authenticity is not one of those things. We immediately assume that these people have something to hide. They’re not fooling us, anyway. Our intuition sees through the façade and instead, warns us to be careful of these perfectly groomed human shells. To top it off, these people don’t often know how to talk about anything else. Their world revolves around how they look, improving their appearance, and their expensive maintenance habits.
6. You love to brag
Nobody likes a show-off! There’s a huge difference between a healthy dose of self-confidence or being proud of your achievements and being notoriously big-headed. Bragging is, by far, one of the most unattractive traits ever. It immediately makes other people feel inferior and unsuccessful, even if the one doing the bragging didn’t necessarily mean it that way. Showing off carries a lot of subtext that most people can decipher. And of course, it also depends on what you think it takes to impress someone. Rubbing your own wealth and privileged life or good looks in the face of someone who doesn’t have those things is toxic and rude. Success is something to brag about if you’ve worked hard for it. However, it’s all about the way you do it. It’s obvious to everyone around you whether you’re truly proud of what you’ve achieved, or if you’re purposely trying to point out others' failures.
7. You keep too much of a distance
The opposite of desperate clinginess is the cold shoulder. It’s a bit of a gray area. No two people will have exactly the same definition of keeping your distance. There are many and varied reasons for wanting to keep people at arm’s length. Bad experiences, insecurity, trauma, and making sure you have enough personal space are just a few of them. Being distant is often chalked up to arrogance. Some people make it difficult for others to get to know them better. That’s why we quickly lose interest in them and mark them down as boring or less attractive. If you find it difficult to let people get close to you, then you’ll have to leave your comfort zone a little bit if you want to socialize more. Relationships, friendships and getting on with your colleagues all thrive on this idea of togetherness, which presupposes a certain degree of closeness.
Today’s Conclusion: Keep it approachable
Being polite and offering a few friendly words is just common decency, and it costs us absolutely nothing. But they open the door to the outside world, and the outside world loves a team player. Grumpy, difficult, clingy or cold people will, on the other hand, struggle to find their place in society. All of those attributes don’t just make us unattractive; they make us lonely. The common denominator is always us, and we’re the only ones who can do anything about it. If in doubt, the answer is us. That’s all for today. Thank you, see you soon.