5 Types of People You Should Stop Being Friends With
When ending it is the best choice. Friendship, along with health, is probably the highest asset we can obtain in life. In fact, we should value it even more highly than romantic love, since in most cases it lasts longer and is more permanent. But even friendships can reach their limit. Some relationships have simply died out at some point, some lives have developed so differently from each other that there is hardly anything left in common. And some people we should consciously remove from the select circle of our friends. In this article, we'll show you five groups of people who may be in your environment, but who are definitely not worthy of you in the long run.
1. Friends who never get in touch
Who doesn't know this - it's always you who takes the initiative for a meeting and social gathering. At some point you feel almost annoying or intrusive, but you really want to keep seeing the person. Maybe you used to have a closer bond with each other that just unraveled over time. Or have your lives gone in different directions? If a boyfriend or girlfriend starts a family, but the other side goes through life as a perpetual single or serial monogamist, at some point there won't be much left in common. The fact is, whenever you're the one who has to make contact, give this arduous endeavor a rest, at least for a while. See if she or he would stop contacting you altogether if you didn't take the initiative. Think about how much you would really miss these friendships if it ended up in radio silence over the long run. Friendships are sometimes very similar to relationships. If one side always has to do all the work and the other is the permanent beneficiary of it, there will soon be an imbalance. Which will cause the ship to sink.
2. Friends who make you feel bad
We all know these frenemies in one form or another. The word is composed of friend together with foe and reflects very well the predicament one often finds oneself in, with such acquaintances. These are usually people who urgently need to look good in front of everybody and play the leading role on the stage of life. However, they need an entourage or a very personal fan club from time to time, groupies who admire them and confirm their greatness again and again. Unfortunately, these people also have a completely different function. They serve them as lightning rods for frustration and bad moods and provide ample targets for the manipulative and perhaps even narcissistic games that these contemporaries like to play. These can be pointed remarks that may even come packaged as compliments. However, if their verbalizations go in the direction of belittling and insulting, things that hurt you and always leave you with a bad feeling, you should mute these people from your life.
3. Friends who always want something from you
Do some people make you feel more like their own personal service staff? Do they only ever check in with you when there's something to be done or they spontaneously need to unload some mental garbage? This kind of friendship is not only one-sided and out of balance, it also takes a lot out of you without anything in return in the long run. Interpersonal interactions should be characterized by equal footing and equality. If one side is always giving and the other is always taking, that’s not friendship, but exploitation of the worst kind. These so-called friends appeal to your feelings and your conscience. They usually know very well that you, in your capacity as a good person, won’t refuse them anything so quickly. So be alert if you get the feeling that you're always being a chauffeur, therapist or money lender for someone you've always considered a friend.
4. Friends who only ever talk about themselves
At some point, you find yourself sitting silently across from them and wondering if they’ll ever stop. Your own silence in this situation stems on the one hand from the fact that you give people the benefit of the doubt, even friends who wind up hopeless egocentrics. On the other hand, the truth is you’d have no chance to get a word in edgewise, anyway. Friends who develop into verbal rapid-fire weapons and constantly bombard everyone in their environment are exhausting and often, unfortunately, only a sad shadow of their former selves. No matter what happened to make these contemporaries what they are now, it’s not your fault and not even in your jurisdiction to solve. Heartbreak, trouble at work, chronic dissatisfaction with their appearance - you're not responsible for any of these crises. To make matters worse, the stories usually repeat themselves endlessly, as if in a continuous loop, and there seems to be no light at the end of the monologue tunnel. Good friends always have an ear for each other, it's true, but if you feel like you're the only audience member on a confessional talk show from which there's no escape, you don't have to sit through it any longer than you'd like. There is professional help for such people – friends don’t count as therapists and should not be abused as such.
5. Friends who use gaslighting tactics
Beware of such contemporaries - they clearly have narcissistic traits and enjoy keeping everyone in their environment on a short leash and letting them dance to a tune that no one but them hears. Again, the question is appropriate but actually secondary: when did this former friend develop into such a manipulative monster? Perhaps you couldn't or didn’t want to admit it earlier. Those who play poker with your mind and constantly try to talk you into believing things that you remember completely differently are clearly the problem element out of the two of you, not you yourself. You should also be alert if, in front of other people, stories that you have experienced together suddenly take a completely new turn and these creative dodges no longer fall within the range of poetic freedom.
Today’s Conclusion
Make a radical cut or wait and see? Genuine friendships are a rare and valuable commodity. Nurturing them requires a little effort and commitment, and sometimes, above all, staying power. However, people who haven't earned your loyalty and devotion don't need to be allowed continued access to your inner circle. Whether you dump them with a dramatic gesture including a flowery explanation in a highly official manner or simply let the contact go nowhere should be something you let your gut feeling decide. Prolonged discussions with the five character types that we have briefly outlined here, however, will bring nothing in most cases. It's best to let time work for you. It is known to be the wisest of universal tools, for as Sovogle has taught us, it uncovers everything. That's it for today.