Phrases Kids Must Hear From Parents: Words for a Lifetime
Words can last a lifetime. It is well known that there are no perfect people, only perfect intentions. In particular, parents often spend most of their lives doubting themselves and their abilities, and unfortunately, children are still born without instruction manuals. Since every child has a completely independent personality from birth, there are few general tips or words of advice that can be applied across the board to every child. It’s sad but true that even too much love can be detrimental to a child if it is lavished on them without focus. Sometimes, however, the right words are enough to bring everything back into balance, or simply but surely to spontaneously bring out the best in a child. The following 7 phrases, which we present to you in this article, are simple but effective tools for any parent that can leave a lasting, positive impact for a lifetime.
1. Wow, How Did You Do That?
This phrase can give a real boost to a child's self-esteem. After all, everyone is happy about a little recognition now and then. The prerequisite for this, however, is that this compliment is meant honestly, and is not given across the board for every little thing a kid does. A particularly beautiful picture, a fairytale sandcastle, or a creative solution to a toy problem in the kids’ room, any positive action that earns your honest admiration as a parent should be rewarded accordingly. Thereby you instill a sense of accomplishment and in this way inspire your child to stay creative and find solutions independently. Whether you will always find good actions to praise is another question.
2. I'm Listening
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it is not always easy to give children the full attention they need. Especially very talkative children, to put it mildly, can occasionally push their loving parents' maximum attention span to the limit. Sometimes you have to temporarily turn them off just for purposes of self defense. However, there are situations where children definitely need your undivided attention. Experiences after school, on the playground, or with friends must be talked about and discussed with someone. The juvenile mind sometimes needs a little help to understand and handle what it has just seen and experienced. When excitement or agitation is gaining the upper hand, a calm, “I'm listening,” is of enormous help in allowing a child to put things in perspective and restore a mental balance—if the cause of the child’s agitation was really a minor incident. If casualties ensued, it’s so much the better a time to intervene in developing the character of a child. Such incidents are a good exercise for developing the child’s ability to talk with adults without shyness and without inhibitions. It’s a very good idea to instill in a child the confidence to discuss serious situations or problems with adults.
3. Let's Solve This Together!
Even children have worries and problems: everything will not always go the way a child's heart desires. When children reach their limits, sensitivity is required. Some can stonewall completely and thwart any further discussion on this topic in the future. Some react with a veritable tantrum and a screaming fit that wakes up the whole neighborhood. Ask, “What is your problem? Let’s solve it together.” Surprisingly, this can sometimes work wonders and even save situations that are heading for a trainwreck.
4. Your Siblings Look Up to You
They are often the personified pain in the life of a child. Having siblings, especially when they are younger, can be a real nightmare. Very few, in any case, are always of the same heart and soul. The older children are unfairly forced to assume responsibilities from an early age that are, at best, tedious and uncomfortable for them. The impression of always having to give way in favor of the younger ones is reinforced with each passing year. Sooner or later it can become a small consolation that you're admired and respected by the little ones. Parents can gain some ground with this statement. Younger siblings can exact a lot of tolerance and equanimity of many a child. But beware, this so-called trick only works if it is actually truthful—at least to some extent. Children are far more intelligent than we adults usually give them credit for. If the younger ones only abuse the older ones and shamelessly exploit their roles as the weaklings, a comment about their supposed simultaneous respect will mean nothing.
5. I Like You the Way You Are, or I Like What You’re Doing
Here comes a truly beautiful daily praise with which parents can recognize their children. Praising them for the way they handle things not only builds a child's confidence, it motivates them to keep pushing in that direction and developing that talent. This phrase can also be used in dealing with other children or other situations. Development of a talent and the garnering of praise from adults gives a child a head start that will continue to bear fruit throughout the child’s lifetime.
6. Even If You Upset Me, I Still Love You
One of the most difficult situations you might face as a parent is dealing with attacks inflicted on you by your own children. To console oneself with the fact that a child is still small and ignorant no longer carries much weight—especially once a child hits puberty. The dichotomy of doing everything and even more for your children, but getting confrontation, ignorance, disregard, attacks, and insults of the worst kind in return, can make the role of parent an extreme challenge. If you want to calm things down after the storm, this is the best approach to take. We want the child to know that their outburst was wrong, but that they can always count on their parents’ love. Many adults do not manage to be the adults in such situations. They allow anger to take hold of themselves and often don't know what to do other than threaten to withdraw their love. Some kids can handle this, but for many, this passive-aggressive parental response leaves a scar for life.
7. Your Time Was Actually Up, But I’ll Give You Five More Minutes
There is hardly anything more satisfying for children than being able to soften set boundaries a little. Successfully bending the rules a bit creates unbelievable feelings of exhilaration. Extending the time in front of the television, computer, or the time before bedtime, also offers the parents a top educational advantage. You can be generous and willing to negotiate, giving you another so-called trick for rewarding desired behavior and not rewarding the opposite.
Today’s Conclusion: Spoken Words and Thrown Stones
What do these two things have in common? They can’t be withdrawn. The wrong words can affect children's souls for the rest of their lives. The right words, on the other hand, can strengthen them and serve as mental tools for their entire later lives. Anyone who imagines that this will all be easy and will go smoothly according to plan will unfortunately be disappointed. It's more like a constant dance on thin ice, where trial and error is the only real ally that can be consistently relied upon. That's it for today.